I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I want to be your penis for a week.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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