this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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