Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life