I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.