I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.