Texts From Last Night

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.

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(978): We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement. http://tfl.nu/az5f

Replies (3) Good night (102) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.

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(314): Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl. http://tfl.nu/hntx

Replies (2) Good night (130) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day

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(515): Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day http://tfl.nu/z36i

Replies (6) Good night (729) Bad night (95) Order T-Shirt
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?

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(218): Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young? http://tfl.nu/34pp

Replies (15) Good night (985) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I just put wine in my tea

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(651): Well I just put wine in my tea http://tfl.nu/sol7

Replies (5) Good night (434) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.

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(541): People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized. http://tfl.nu/aj4f

Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.

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(615): Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast. http://tfl.nu/ki2v

Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (91) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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(678): The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny http://tfl.nu/ejq7

Replies (4) Good night (169) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.

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(214): In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman. http://tfl.nu/e6dh

Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (127) Order T-Shirt
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.

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(262): My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels. http://tfl.nu/4t4s

Replies (5) Good night (819) Bad night (69) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning

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(760): And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning http://tfl.nu/27ss

Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (109)
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(760): View more from California

I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.

(951): View more from California

Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped

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(760): I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire. (951): Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped http://tfl.nu/trsg

Replies (3) Good night (162) Bad night (272)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.

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(505): Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis. http://tfl.nu/t3p3

Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (86) Order T-Shirt
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(+61): View more from Australia

I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.

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(+61): I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad. http://tfl.nu/47hi

Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (83) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on

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(405): Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on http://tfl.nu/n0jv

Replies (4) Good night (100) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt

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