it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I had to cum in my sink.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college