Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.