New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.