Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.