Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.