Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS