i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Send us your Text From Last Night!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.