Texts From Last Night

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(901): View more from Tennessee

You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury

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(901): You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury http://tfl.nu/7ksy

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(707): View more from California

He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.

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(707): He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/vg98

Replies (14) Good night (271) Bad night (3097) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."

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(908): If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple." http://tfl.nu/0gie

Replies (4) Good night (2519) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.

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(250): My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part. http://tfl.nu/8pmc

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.

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(732): I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome. http://tfl.nu/zzpw

Replies (20) Good night (3459) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt
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(425): View more from Washington

I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?

(1-425): View more from Washington

you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time

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(425): I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I? (1-425): you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time http://tfl.nu/bm15

Replies (5) Good night (2387) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.

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(321): You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/dbiz

Replies (7) Good night (2275) Bad night (222)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap

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(732): I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap http://tfl.nu/e6wb

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(785): View more from Kansas

Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".

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(785): Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets". http://tfl.nu/227d

Replies (11) Good night (404) Bad night (2518) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.

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(860): Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise. http://tfl.nu/z4y1

Replies (8) Good night (193) Bad night (2292) Order T-Shirt
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(972): View more from Texas

It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.

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(972): It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians. http://tfl.nu/8vkd

Replies (14) Good night (2415) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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(859): View more from Kentucky

They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.

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(859): They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college. http://tfl.nu/okdu

Replies (6) Good night (2143) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..

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(615): it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex.. http://tfl.nu/6q5t

Replies (11) Good night (350) Bad night (1733) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.

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(570): I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless. http://tfl.nu/rrlk

Replies (6) Good night (2191) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?

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(615): Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER? http://tfl.nu/yz8w

Replies (12) Good night (2994) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt

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