She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...