I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I have tasted many bathrooms
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.