How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor