WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Send us your Text From Last Night!
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?