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I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
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