It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?