there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.