Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I need water and some morals
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...