Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Oh god it's open bar.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove