i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I love you. Go after that dick
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays