Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter