I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n