Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.