I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?