just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD