I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really busy with my period
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.