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Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
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