I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
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