How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...