Texts From Last Night

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(264): View more from Anguilla

I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.

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(264): I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/tyhu

Replies (8) Good night (1084) Bad night (296)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!

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(+44): Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/zew5

Replies (1) Good night (292) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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(705): View more from Ontario

You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work

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(705): You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work http://tfl.nu/80dk

Replies (5) Good night (1145) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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(289): View more from Ontario

Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.

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(289): Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food. http://tfl.nu/bfcw

Replies (6) Good night (1950) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt
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(520): View more from Arizona

I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.

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(520): I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/u2a7

Replies (5) Good night (798) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me

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(770): Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me http://tfl.nu/jae3

Replies (5) Good night (247) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe

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(832): When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe http://tfl.nu/uvdo

Replies (14) Good night (212) Bad night (1925) Order T-Shirt
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(812): View more from Indiana

I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.

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(812): I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more. http://tfl.nu/ty1z

Replies (14) Good night (850) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt
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(708): View more from Illinois

Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.

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(708): Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night. http://tfl.nu/vsww

Replies (9) Good night (175) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.

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(206): You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship. http://tfl.nu/k0v9

Replies (3) Good night (250) Bad night (570)
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(949): View more from California

We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.

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(949): We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car. http://tfl.nu/vgtj

Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.

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(814): I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green. http://tfl.nu/s063

Replies (33) Good night (1785) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.

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(518): You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come. http://tfl.nu/a590

Replies (17) Good night (1504) Bad night (159) Order T-Shirt
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(806): View more from Texas

Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.

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(806): Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes. http://tfl.nu/kfeu

Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (156) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend

(703): View more from Virginia

You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.

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(443): you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend (703): You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence. http://tfl.nu/no32

Replies (4) Good night (889) Bad night (144)

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