Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.