and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
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and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...