I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
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he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
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I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.