If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im drinking this country out of the recession.