Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober