they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.