Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
sarcasm needs its own font
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding