I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something