Whod you bang
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
