U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
