Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
