His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
