I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
