"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana