I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
