My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.