explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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