the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
