My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?