Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
