Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
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Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.