You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.