No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.