He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
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i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
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I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.