I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Send us your Text From Last Night!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex