Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.