i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.