my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.