He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common