When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.