What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
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the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We are two peas in an std pod
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen