Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.