do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack