the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
a search helicopter?!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...