I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Send us your Text From Last Night!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree