He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!