Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
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He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
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Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.