The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.