Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
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To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks