What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.