i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.