Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.