she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
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did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.