i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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