I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off