He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
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Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.