I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.