Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.