I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.