Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.