I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.