Did I show you my penis last night?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.