I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?