went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I need moral support for this bender
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
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Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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