sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.