Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.