she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Send us your Text From Last Night!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.