My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.