Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.