Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Send us your Text From Last Night!
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???