He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You took a bar mat shot.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.