I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo