there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it