The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.