He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter