it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.