Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
